Ambient Abuse
The idea is to create an atmosphere in which the victim constantly feels tense and uncomfortable, but there is nothing they can do about it. They cannot complain or even confront you about it, because the problem is difficult to articulate, and you can simply deny it.

Suppressed laughter
I want to give you the impression that I am laughing at you, but I’m not going to tell you why, so I am going to make a display of suppressing laughter. Why not just laugh openly? If I make it look as if I am trying not to laugh, it looks as if I am making an effort to spare your embarrassment, which makes it more difficult for you to retaliate. In fact, however, the opposite is the case; I am not trying to spare your embarrassment at all, I am trying to cause you embarrassment, shame and humiliation; I am just trying to do it in such a way that no-one will blame me for it.

A common method is to mutter insults, reproachful or disapproving comments under your breath when you are just barely within your victim’s earshot. The effect is increased if others hear what you say. The intention is to create a vague feeling of unease which is hard to pin down, and then to allow the victim to dwell and brood on this over a long period.

Sabotage
Set the victim up to publicly fail by manipulating the environment. Sabotage their work or other projects, contaminate their food, hide, move or sabotage their possessions, give them humiliating presents, somehow booby-trap the social environment. It could even be as simple as a language game of the type I’ve described elsewhere on the site. The idea is that for your victim, normal social rules do not apply.

Timing
A lot can be achieved just by careful timing. They are travelling by train, and she knows that he is getting off before her, so she waits until his stop before dropping her bombshell, because she knows that he’s unlikely to stay on the train to argue with her.

Covering your tracks – what to do if you are challenged
Lesson 1 in the abuser’s handbook: Never show your hand. The idea is always to fly under the radar. Always keep it subtle, and deniable. However, if you are challenged, there are a few basic techniques you can use to cover your tracks.

Notes
Physical abuse damages your body. Mental abuse damages your entire life. The targets are your self-esteem, your mental health, (and consequently your physical health), your relationships, your social status, your reputation (and consequently your career), even your liberty. The only limitation is that it takes more ingenuity, more negotiation; it may take time and diligence. You cannot destroy someone’s life overnight; it may require months or years of constant pressure. The pressure has to be kept to a low level so that your actions are not discovered by others, and if they are, they are deniable. You need to be subtle. The damage inflicted by means of these methods is often intangible, but it’s real enough. It’s difficult to prove. It’s not always visible to others. This style of conflict is all about hitting you where it doesn’t leave any marks, and in such a way that the attacker herself cannot be implicated.

The bullying is a public demonstration that the perpetrator is a force to be reckoned with; the message to onlookers is ‘watch out or this could be you next’

A lot of the covert social cruelty practiced by females is difficult to detect at the best of times; doubly so when feminists are teaching us not to look.